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Best Insurance Agent Jokes

If you are a consumer and really just want to read some funny insurance agent jokes, then scroll down towards the bottom and skip the content. However, if you are a financial professional, I highly encourage you to read the full blog as there contains some great advice on “how to avoid being part of the Top Insurance Agent Jokes…”

Insurance Agents have been the butt of many jokes over the years.  Some of the lack of trust is warranted, while much of it is not.  Unfortunately, a few bad apples have created an uphill battle for insurance agents and financial professionals to demand trust and respect from consumers and the media.  Some good news is that although insurance sales people are not considered the least-trusted in America (thanks to Congress, the never ending abuse of used car salesman, and Wall Street bankers).   However, insurance agents have managed to remain towards the bottom of least-trusted jobs in America for many decades.

If you are an insurance agent, this can pose some significant problems as you build a practice, build trust, build your brand, and build a solid referral base.  And just like a professional car driver can’t control the actions of the other drivers around them while they speed off to the checkered flag going 160 miles per hour, insurance agents and annuity specialists are no different.  However, there are plenty of defensive methods you can implement to protect yourself from wreck-less agents around you.

Don’t worry, the actual insurance agent jokes are coming up shortly

I learned at a young age that everyone is going to make mistakes.  I also learned that the best thing that you can do when you make a mistake or error is to ensure the following things happen:

1)     Learn from your mistake

2)     Don’t ever repeat it again

3)     Be able to LAUGH at yourself and find something positive from your mistake

Many of you might be saying to yourself as you read this that you have never done anything unethical, illegal, misleading, etc to add to this lack of trust in our industry.  And the chances are that you are correct.  It is a very small percentage of agents and financial professionals who are causing the problems.  So how can you learn from your mistakes if you never made them?  How can you avoid repeating the mistake again if you never made it to being with?  Finally, how can you laugh at yourself when you are fed up trying to defend yourself for your competition’s mistakes and lack of integrity?

After consulting some of the largest financial professionals in the industry, I have noticed a secret that each of them have taken considerable time to create within their practice.  It is a secret so simple, so easy to implement, yet so few in our industry actually do it.  I am talking about doing the following with your practice:

1)     Putting your personality into your brand, your message, and your firm

2)     Having fun both personally and professionally and letting your clients know about it

3)     Confidently calling to light the problems with your industry, explaining why you are different, and exposing the bad apples.

One of the best ways to achieve these simple secrets to separating you from the bad salespeople in your industry, is to flat out expose the issues that have given the industry a bad name, laugh at it, and turn a negative into a positive while you put your clients at ease that they are dealing with reputable salesman and educator.  This could be done by telling stories of clients that you have made life changing impacts with, collecting countless client testimonials, giving examples of things you have done in your community to enhance the lives around you, or even tell funny jokes about your industry.

That’s right, tell jokes.  I have yet to meet a person who won’t listen to a joke.  Have you ever been in a boring meeting and the speaker says he is going to tell a quick joke.  You can scan the room and see every head perk up when the speaker says he or she is about to tell a joke.  Just like stories, we have been accustomed and groomed to listen to and enjoy hearing other people tell jokes.

What a great way to entertain your client while at the same time use it as a reason to call attention to the problems in your industry and why you are different.  Used car salesman, lawyers, and congress representatives could all do the same thing with great results.  Why get pigeonholed into always having to prove yourself to skeptical prospect right before they are finally going to do business with you when you can give them a memorable way to know you are a salesman with integrity and high moral before they can even begin to be skeptical.

So without further waiting for the punch line, here are the Top 5 Jokes.

Insurance Agent Joke 1

“You ought to feel highly honored,” said the businessman to the life insurance agent, “so far today I have had my secretary turn away seven insurance agents.”
“Yes, I know,” replied the insurance agent, “I’m them.” 

Insurance Agent Joke 2

Insurance agents never retire, they just expire.

Insurance agents are premium lovers.

Insurance agents do it with third parties.

 Insurance Agent Joke 3

A state adopts strict new insurance self-study CE (Continuing Education) requirements for its agents. The tests they now require are very difficult, can take no more than an hour to complete, and must be taken at a certified testing center.

On the first day of the new requirements, an agent wanders into a testing center a half hour late.

“You´ll never finish this test on time,” the test administrator coldly states.

“Just give me the test,” replies the agent, “I´ll finish it.”

Skeptically, the administrator gives the agent the test.

The time limit comes and passes and yet the agent still has not completed the test. Finally, a half hour after the test time limit, the agent brings his test up to the administrator, who is correcting a large stack of tests.

“You can´t turn that in,” states the test administrator, “you knew there was a time limit.”

“Do you know who I am?” replies the agent.

“No”, says the administrator.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM???” the agent says more forcefully.

“No, and I really don´t care” replies the administrator, slightly annoyed.

“Good,” says the agent, who quickly shoves his test into the middle of the stack the administrator is correcting and walks out the door.

Insurance Agent Joke 4

Last week I bought a retirement policy. All I´ve got to do is keep up the payments for 15 years and my agent can retire.

Insurance Agent Joke 5

A super genius goes in to see a doctor. “Doc,” the genius says, “I think I´m too smart. I´m having trouble even communicating with people because we have no common frame of reference, and it´s ruining my social life. Can anything be done?”

The doctor runs a series of tests on the genius, and indeed finds that he is too smart. He says, “Currently, your IQ is 250, which is vastly superior to an average man. This is why you are having trouble communicating.  I do have a cure, however.  I have a machine that will drain away some of your intelligence, leaving you with an IQ of 160. You´ll still be a genius, but you should be able to lead a normal life as well.”

The genius immediately agrees to the treatment, so the doctor straps him into the machine.

Just as the doctor turns on the device, he gets a phone call from his ex-wife. They have a heated phone conversation for several minutes before the doctor remembers his patient.  He rushes back, and is shocked when he sees the IQ readout at 75.

The doctor says, “Are you all right?”

The former genius just stares blankly.

The doctor shakes him, saying “Say Something.”

The former genius replies, “Can I interest you in a life insurance policy?”


So the next time you need an icebreaker and a reason to squash misconceptions about your profession, try using jokes.  Letting your guard down, being yourself, and finding ways to laugh at yourself can be life changing for a business.  It is a shame that so many are afraid to be natural and have fun in their business.

Do you know any funny insurance jokes?  If so, please post in the comments as we are hoping to build a huge list of the best insurance jokes out there!

Looking forward to hearing from you in the comment section!


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Fernando Godinez

Fernando Godinez is the CEO of Advisor Internet Marketing. He’s been the architect behind some of the top financial advisors online presence in the country and help them triple their practice through online lead generation. Over the past few years he has been responsible for generating over 500k leads through online marketing and lead generation campaigns for independent financial advisors.

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